The Lion's Den
by PotterScar
Summary: In celebration of their last year at Hogwarts, the Marauders are making... a newspaper?
1. Issue 1

**Sort of a side story for now, but you never know, I might get really into it!**

**Shades of Gray readers, the series is still going, don't worry...**

**SUMMARY: In celebration of their last year at Hogwarts, the Marauders are making... a newspaper?**

**BTW: For the menu section and the Ask Sirius section, as well as any section really, I would LOVE suggestions, as my ideas can only hold up so long!**

* * *

THE LION'S DEN

Issue One

Three Knuts

Hello Gryffindors! This is your reporter, Remus Lupin, sharing those big issues around the castle with his fellow housemates...

**Owlery Taken Over By Mad Pixies**

The Owlery was evacuated yesterday by Rubeus Hagrid when a pack of mentally-unstable Cornish Pixies escaped from a cage in the Defense Against the Dark Arts room.

"I managed to get 'em all ou'," Mr. Hagrid said gruffly as Cornish Pixies rammed into the side of his head, going unnoticed by the groundskeeper.

"We fear that these pixies may have hurt some of the owls," Professor Marcus Kettleburn, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, said. Indeed, the tiny blue pixies did injure a few owls. Two snowy owls, five tawny owls, and eight barn owls are currently in a section of the Hospital Wing, suffering broken wings and damage done to them by pixies attempting to attach them to the rafters.

"We hope that an incident like this doesn't occur again," the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Clarke, said, looking vaguely annoyed.

Several owners of injured owls say that this was a cruel prank played by Slytherins. "None of the Slytherins' owls were injured!" one angry student, who demanded (rather frighteningly) to remain anonymous.

If you believe one of your owls was a victim, please drop by the Hospital Wing as soon as possible.

* * *

If you have a problem, just... 

**Ask Sirius**

Dear Sirius,

My parents love my sister more than they love me. Yesterday, they sent her a package of candy, and what did they send me? A rock!

- Unloved Daughter

Dear Unloved,

Every consider that it might be a precious gem?

- Sirius

Dear Sirius,

Every morning, I wake up with really weird, red bumps on my face. What are they?

- Confused by the Bumps

Dear Confused,

It might be acne, but I wouldn't know, I've never had any problems with that. See Madam Pomfrey for further instructions.

- Sirius

Dear Sirius,

I love you.

- In Love

Dear In Love,

Doesn't everybody?

- Sirius

Dear Sirius,

Are you as stupid as Lily Evans says you are?

- Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,

Yes.

- Sirius

_Want to_ _**Ask Sirius**? Slip your problem written on a scrap of parchment under the seventh year boys' dorm and if Sirius isn't a lazy bum, you might appear in the Den!_

* * *

**What's Cooking?  
**with Peter Pettigrew 

This is Peter Pettigrew with this week's breakfast, lunch and dinner!

**MONDAY:  
**Breakfast: Toast, kippers, marmalade, eggs  
Lunch: Roast Beef Sandwiches, Waldorf salads, pumpkin juice  
Dinner: Ham, mashed potatoes, pumpkin juice, salad, dessert

**TUESDAY:  
**Breakfast: Toast, bacon, eggs, marmalade  
Lunch: Chicken sandwiches, salad, pumpkin juice  
Dinner: Steak and Kidney pie, salad, pumpkin juice, dessert

**WEDNESDAY  
**Breakfast: Toast, bacon, eggs, marmalade  
Lunch: Turkey sandwiches, pumpkin juice, taco salad  
Dinner: Chicken pot pie, salad, pumpkin juice, dessert

**THURSDAY  
**Breakfast: Toast, kippers, eggs, marmalade  
Lunch: Ham and cheese sandwiches, pumpkin juice, salad  
Dinner: Roast chicken, steak fries, corn, pumpkin juice, dessert

**FRIDAY  
**Breakfast: Toast, bacon, kippers, eggs, marmalade  
Lunch: Mince meat pie, mashed potatoes, pumpkin juice, salad  
Dinner: Lasagna, garlic bread, pumpkin juice, salad, string beans, dessert.

**SATURDAY  
**Breakfast: Toast, kippers, eggs, fruit salad, marmalade  
Lunch: Tomato soup, toasted cheese sandwiches, pumpkin juice  
Dinner: Shepherd's pie, pumpkin juice, dessert

**SUNDAY:  
**Breakfast: Toast, pancakes, waffles, bread and butter, fried tomatoes  
Lunch: Peanut butter sandwiches, corned beef sandwiches, pumpkin juice  
Dinner: Tuna casserole, salad, turkey, pumpkin juice, dessert

The house-elves are asking for requests! Please drop them a line at the door with a basket of fruit on it. Just leave a note with suggested meals outside of the door... they'll get it! Trust me!

* * *

**Big-mouth Rita Knows It All!**

Rita Skeeter here, with all of the gossip that circulates throughout the school.

One of the most surprising things that any of us could ever imagine has happened – James Potter, Marauder and the most popular guy in school, is Head Boy!

Potter has never been a prefect and currently holds the record for most detentions in one school year (one hundred and sixty).

"It's a big surprise, my mum was crying!" said a grinning Potter. "This is a sign! I'll have Evans by the end of the year!"

Lily Evans was not available for comment, as she was busy throwing up in a toilet.

* * *

**Sports With Potter**

Hi Gryffindor students, young and old! I'm James Potter, here every week with your local, national, and international sports news!

**LOCAL:**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's Quidditch season starts in **one month.** If any students wish to apply for the available positions (listed below) come to your captain (me, of course) or your Head of House (the lovely Professor McGonagall).

Available Positions:

One Beater  
One Chaser  
Keeper

**NATIONAL and INTERNATIONAL:**

The Chudley Cannons, one of the best teams in the league, suffered a devastating loss to the Appleby Arrows (30 – 240). Cannons fans are devastated.

Another surprise loss happened last week when the Denmark Dragons beat the London Lions. The Dragons won 300 to 80.

**STANDINGS:**

Puddlemere United: 3-0  
Wimbourne Wasps: 0-3  
Tutshill Tornadoes: 1-2  
Kenmare Kestrals: 2-2  
Chudley Cannons: 3-1  
Denmark Dragons: 2-2  
London Lions: 2-2  
Appleby Arrows: 1-3  
Holyhead Harpies: 3-0  
Yorkshire Yedis: 4-0

(NOTE: Many teams are not listed because I could not find they standings without making a Hogsmeade trip.)

Tomorrow, tune into the Wireless when the Dragons take on the undefeated Yorkshire Yedis. This was James Potter with sports. Over and out!

* * *

**The Five W's With Lily Evans**

Who: Students 3rd year and above  
What: Hogsmeade trip  
When: September 29th  
Where: Hogsmeade  
Why: DUH!

Who: All Prefects  
What: Prefects and Heads meeting  
When: September 3rd  
Where: Chamber off of the Great Hall  
Why: To plan events of the year and establish patrol schedule

* * *

**Well, there you have it! Remember... REVIEW!**

**PotterScar**


	2. Issue 2

**I actually have two new one-shots up, For Everything and She Doesn't Deserve You. I like For Everything MUCH better, but check them out!**

THE LION'S DEN

Issue Two

September 14th, 1977

Three Knuts

Hello Gryffindors! This is your reporter, Remus Lupin, sharing those big issues around the castle with his fellow housemates...

Feature Story:

**Hogsmeade Trips To Be Cancelled?**

With the growing number of Muggle and Wizard disappearances, Professor McGonagall thinks that it would be wise to cancel Hogsmeade trips until they die down.

"Our prime concern is the safety of our students," she said to your reporter two nights ago, after word that Hogsmeade trips were to be cancelled leaked out.

Professor Dumbledore, however, opposed McGonagall's idea.

"We are trying to keep things as normal as possible in this time of crisis," the elderly wizard said in an interview.

Further details will be posted in the next _Den_.

Shorts:

**Food Column Hated By Readers, Pettigrew Attacked By Mob  
**Seems like nobody enjoyed Mr. Peter Pettigrew's food column. He was attacked by an angry mob of Gryffindors and three Hufflepuffs next to the portrait of Gumpy the Hippocampus three nights ago.

**New Store In Hogsmeade  
**A new clothing store has opened in Hogsmeade, _Wondrous Wizarding Wear._

**Hippogriffs Put On 'Endangered Species List'  
**Hippogriffs, who have been dying out in massive numbers, are now on the International Endangered Species List, or IESL. Animals on this list include Demiguises, Hippocampuses, Phoenixes, Snidgets, and Unicorns. For a full list, please ask Madam Pince at the library.

* * *

If you have a problem, just... 

**Ask Sirius**

Dear Sirius,  
What's the answer to number five on the Transfiguration homework?  
- Transfigurationally Impaired

Dear Transfigurationally,  
I don't know, ask James.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
What's with the name Padfoot?  
- Just Wondering

Dear Just,  
Mind your own business.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Were you a part of the mob that attacked Peter?  
- A Rat Supporter

Dear A Rat,  
Stay out of my column Pettigrew.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Why do you not give advice to the hopeless morons that write into your column?  
- NOT A Hopeless Moron

Dear NOT,  
I beg to differ.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Is there a fee to be in your fan club?  
- A Fan

Dear A Fan,  
No, but for a Galleon, you can buy a I HEART SIRIUS shirt.  
- Sirius

_Want to_ _**Ask Sirius**? Slip your problem written on a scrap of parchment under the seventh year boys' dorm and if Sirius isn't a lazy bum, you might appear in the Den!_

_

* * *

_

_THIS SPACE IS CURRENTLY EMPTY._

_If you would like to apply to write for the _Den,_ please talk to Remus Lupin._

* * *

**Big-mouth Rita Knows It All!**

Rita Skeeter here, with all of the gossip that circulates throughout the school.

Frank Longbottom, seventh year, proposed to girlfriend and fellow seventh year, Alice Prewett, last night! "I feel like I'm in some kind of dream!" Longbottom said breathlessly after Prewett said yes.

Gideon Prewett, a sixth year and Alice's brother, is less than pleased. "She's much too young to be marrying!" he exclaimed, while his fifth year brother Fabian nodded next to him.

Invitations to the wedding will be going out in several months.

* * *

**Sports With Potter**

Hi Gryffindor students, young and old! I'm James Potter, here every week with your local, national, and international sports news!

**LOCAL:**

Tryouts for the following positions for Gryffindor's Quidditch Team are **TOMORROW.** There is still time to sign up, though!

Available Positions:

One Beater  
One Chaser  
Keeper

**NATIONAL and INTERNATIONAL:**

Is this the end of a legend for the Chudley Cannons? This week, they lost both games they played against Puddlemere United and the Holyhead Harpies.

Kenmare Kestral's star chaser, Marc O'Connor, suffered a concussion when he fell from his broom last night when his team was playing the Denmark Dragons. The Kestral's still won, though.

**STANDINGS:**

Puddlemere United: 5-0  
Wimbourne Wasps: 1-4  
Tutshill Tornadoes: 2-3  
Kenmare Kestrals: 3-2  
Chudley Cannons: 3-3  
Denmark Dragons: 2-3  
London Lions: 3-2  
Appleby Arrows: 1-4  
Holyhead Harpies: 5-0  
Yorkshire Yedis: 4-1  
Liverpool Legends: 4-1  
Birmingham Bears: 0-5  
Oxford Owls: 3-2  
Amsterdam Acromantulas: 4-1  
Athens Ashwinders: 1-4  
Dublin Diricawls: 2-3  
Madrid Manticores: 5-0  
Venice Vampires: 4-1  
Manchester Mooncalves: 0-5  
Moscow Mummies: 3-2  
Milan Mokes: 0-5  
Paris Phoenixes: 4-1

Listen to the Moscow Mummies take on the Milan Mokes at noon tomorrow and the London Lions take on the Paris Phoenixes tomorrow night at six on the Wireless. This was James Potter with sports. Over and out!

* * *

**The Five W's With Lily Evans**

Who: Students 3rd year and above  
What: Hogsmeade trip  
When: September 29th  
Where: Hogsmeade  
Why: DUH!

Who: Quidditch hopefuls and Quidditch team  
What: Tryouts  
When: September 15th  
Where: The Quidditch Pitch  
Why: To fill in three empty slots on the team.

Who: Students in need of Potions assistance  
What: Remedial Potions classes  
When: Sep. 16th and every Thursday after that, from 8:00 to 9:00 P.M.  
Where: Professor Slughorn's classroom  
Why: For Potions assistance

Who: All Seventh Years  
What: 'What's Your Future?' classes  
When: September 17th, and following months (dates to be determined)  
Where: The Great Hall  
Why: To guide Seventh Years to jobs that would be appropriate for them.

* * *

**Well, guys, I need your help.**

**If you are writing a Marauder's Era Harry Potter story, and you would like your characters (they have to be MAIN CHARACTERS, like James, Sirius, etc) to be featured in the plot line of the Gossip Column, just leave the name of your story and the chapter in which the event occurs. If I like it, then it will go in the Gossip Column!**

**I'm also giving a character an editorial. It has to be a main character (i.e. mentioned in the books at least) and the spot will be where Peter's spot was once (thank you to Classic Autumn 15 for giving me the idea to... er... get rid of it.)**

**Also, for the Quidditch standings, if you live in a big, notable city and you don't have a team already posted, just tell me your city and I'll add it on! But, I WILL have a limit, so once I reach a certain amount, I won't post anymore cities.**

**Finally, if you have a question for Sirius, just leave it in your review!**

**PotterScar**


	3. Issue 3

**Updated Shades of Gray: Year Two, so check it out!**

THE LION''S DEN

Issue Three

September 21st, 1977

Three Knuts

Hello Gryffindors! This is your reporter, Remus Lupin, sharing those big issues around the castle with his fellow housemates...

Feature Story:

**Disaster In The Dungeons**

Yesterday, during a fourth-year Potions lesson, the entire dungeon floor of Hogwarts was flooded with a poisonous potion called _Annullo Corpus. _Investigation through a Latin dictionary proved that 'Annullo Corpus' meant 'Destroy Body'.

The potion itself causes substantial damage to nerves and can cause heart attacks, brain damage, or temporary or permanent paralysis.

The Slytherins have been moved out of the dungeons to several (now password-protected) side chambers off the Great Hall, where makeshift dormitories have been set up until the Department of Health and Virus Control deems it safe for student inhabitation.

"It's really too bad that they didn't leave the Slytherins down there, you know," Sirius Black, author of Ask Sirius, said to this reporter. "I mean, we could use permanent paralysis in the Slytherins' cases."

Professor Slughorn says the accident was due to a misguided prank. Somebody had placed armadillo spleen (an ingredient which has properties that cause the expansion of potions; it is often used in hospitals to add to the supplies when potions are running low) in Evan Rosier's potion, causing it to expand and explode. The explosion caused a chain reaction, and as the potion expanded, it fill the entire dungeon as Professor Slughorn herded his students away from the mess.

If anyone has any information on who may have put the armadillo spleen in Rosier's cauldron, Professor Slughorn asks that you come to him immediately.

Shorts:

**Hogsmeade Trips Are On!**

The majority of the teachers last night voted that the Hogsmeade trips will remain scheduled, unless there is an emergency need to change it.

**Honeydukes Has A New Candy**

They're called Peppermint Imps, and they're flying off racks! Be sure to pick some up in Hogsmeade on the trip next week!

**The Lion's Den Wants To Hear From YOU!**

We have recieved dozens of applications from Gryffindor students wanting to do an editorial in Peter's place. We have narrowed it down to four hopeful seventh and sixth years:

Marlene McKinnon  
Benji Fenwick  
Elphias Dodge  
Frank Longbottom

So who would you like to see running an editorial? Drop us a line! Slip a scrap of paper with your choice written clearly in ink on it under the seventh year boys' dormitory door!

* * *

Dear Sirius,  
Is Remus currently dating anyone?  
- Remus Lover

Dear Remus Lover,  
Not as far as I know, but don't rely on him making the first move. He's shyer than Pettigrew, and that's saying something.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Does Remus have a fan club too?  
- Wants To Be A Remus FanGirl

Dear Wants,  
No. And why won't you be my fangirl?  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
I love Remus. How do I tell him?  
- In Love

Dear In,  
I don't know!  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Remus is so much better looking than you.  
- Lupin Lover

Dear Lupin Lover,  
**NO HE ISN'T!  
**- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Does Remus like anyone?  
- Just Wants To Know

Dear Just,  
Okay, did Remus slip everyone a freaking love potion or something?  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Ha. Everyone likes me better than you.  
- Moony

Dear Moony,  
NO THEY DON'T! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!  
- Sirius

* * *

_THIS SPACE IS (STILL) EMPTY._

_Sorry, we are no longer accepting applications. See Shorts to see our finalists!_

* * *

**Big-mouth Rita Knows It All!**

Rita Skeeter here, with all of the gossip that circulates throughout the school.

In the huge dungeon evacuation yesterday, items belonging to the Slytherins were dropped as they moved into the side chambers of the Great Hall. Guess what your gossip columnist picked up?

Severus Snape's teddy bear!

Snape denies that the bear belongs to him, even though his name is written on the bottom of the left foot and he snatched it from your gossip columnist's grasp the second he sawher with it.

* * *

Hi Gryffindor students, young and old! I'm James Potter, here every week with your local, national, and international sports news!

**LOCAL:**

Here is this year's Gryffindor Quidditch Team!

CAPTAIN and CHASER: James Potter  
CHASER: Marcus Bell  
CHASER (new): Mariah Hunt  
RESERVE CAPTAIN and BEATER: Sirius Black  
BEATER: Frank Longbottom  
KEEPER: Adrian Wood  
SEEKER: Matthew Stone  
RESERVES: Lindsay Bell (chaser), Angie LeBlanc (beater), Chris Young (seeker)

The first game is scheduled in NOVEMBER. See you there!

**NATIONAL and INTERNATIONAL:**

The Chudley Cannons scraped a win several days ago against the United States Stars. There have been many questions about the latter team, and I scrounged around for information:

The United States of America's national wizarding sport is not Quidditch, but Quodpot, a game much like Quidditch. However, the USA has made its own national Quidditch team, at the request of many citizens from different countries (the US has one of the highest immigrant populations in the world).

The Kestrals star Marc O'Connor is "doing much better", according to the captain of the team over the Wireless. He is expected to play tomorrow against the Liverpool Legends.

Puddlemere United: 6-0  
Wimbourne Wasps: 1-5  
Tutshill Tornadoes: 2-4  
Kenmare Kestrals: 4-2  
Chudley Cannons: 4-3  
Denmark Dragons: 2-4  
London Lions: 3-3  
Appleby Arrows: 2-4  
Holyhead Harpies: 5-1  
Yorkshire Yedis: 4-2  
Liverpool Legends: 5-1Birmingham Bears: 1-5  
Oxford Owls: 4-2  
Amsterdam Acromantulas: 5-1  
Athens Ashwinders: 2-4  
Dublin Diricawls: 2-4  
Madrid Manticores: 6-0  
Venice Vampires: 5-1  
Manchester Mooncalves: 0-6  
Moscow Mummies: 3-3  
Milan Mokes: 1-5  
Paris Phoenixes: 5-1  
United States Stars: 6-0  
Sydney Serpents: 6-0  
New Zealand Nundus: 4-2

The Sydney Serpents and the US Stars go head to head tomorrow on the Wireless. The following days include the Bears at the Owls, the Diricawls and the Manticores, and the Lions at the Wasps. This is James Potter, over and out!

* * *

**The Five W''s With Lily Evans**

Who: Students 3rd year and above  
What: Hogsmeade trip  
When: September 29th  
Where: Hogsmeade  
Why: DUH!

Who: Quidditch team  
What: Practice – it will be every Wednesday following this date, and therefore will only be posted in the 5 W's if a practice is rescheduled or cancelled  
When: September 22nd  
Where: The Quidditch Pitch  
Why: To prepare for the first game in November.

Who: All students  
What: "Clean-up Day", or the better-known "Help Mr. Pringle Day". Clean the castle for four hours, and you're excused from class the next day.  
When: September 23rd  
Where: Meet Mr. Pringle in the Great Hall for assignments  
Why: To help keep our castle clean

Who: All Seventh Years  
What: ''What's Your Future?'' classes  
When: October 8th, and following months (dates to be determined)  
Where: The Great Hall  
Why: To guide Seventh Years to jobs that would be appropriate for them.

* * *

**Well, guys, another issue done!**

**Some reminders:**

**If you are writing a Marauder''s Era Harry Potter story, and you would like your characters (they have to be MAIN CHARACTERS, like James, Sirius, etc) to be featured in the plot line of the Gossip Column, just leave the name of your story and the chapter in which the event occurs. If I like it, then it will go in the Gossip Column!**

**For the Quidditch standings, if you live in a big, notable city (that isn't in the USA, Canada, or Mexico) and you don't have a team already posted, just tell me your city and I'll add it on! But, I WILL have a limit, so once I reach a certain amount, I won't post anymore cities.**

**Vote for the four characters listed! Once again, they are Marlene McKinnon, Benji Fenwick, Elphias Dodge, and Frank Longbottom.**

**And, as always, give questions for Sirius to answer in Ask Sirius!**

**PotterScar**


	4. Issue 4

THE LION'S DEN

Issue Four

September 28th, 1977

Three Knuts

Hello Gryffindors! This is your reporter, Remus Lupin, sharing those big issues around the castle with his fellow housemates...

Feature Story:

**Rogue Bludger Released On G.Q.T.**

The Gryffindor Quidditch Team's first practice on the 22nd resulted in disaster when a Bludger was released from its holdings, only to be a rogue Bludger. The Bludger seemed perfectly innocent for several moments, until the practice got underway. It started flying after random players at top speed, and the team could do nothing but hope for the best and fly for their lives.

Among the injured are Marcus Bell, Adrian Wood, and James Potter. All three were knocked unconscious by the Bludger, which struck them in the head at least once. Bell and Wood, each struck in the head once, awoke the next morning, but James Potter, captain of the team, is still unconscious in the Hospital Wing six days later after being slammed with the Bludger five times before falling from his broom. Both Wood and Bell are still in the Wing under supervision, but they are scheduled to be released tomorrow.

As for Potter, well, the Gryffindor Quidditch Team made the following comments:

"Go to hell, Slytherins." - Matthew Stone  
"If James doesn't wake up soon, I'll murder the snakes with my own hands." - Sirius Black (censored)  
"Slytherin will pay." - Frank Longbottom

Lindsay Bell, Angie LeBlanc, Chris Young, and Mariah Hunt were not available for comment, as they were plotting ways to murder the Slytherins.

What makes the team so sure that it was the Slytherins?

1. Dark charms were placed on the Bludger, and were later discovered by Professor Flitwick.  
2. The Gryffindor Team and the Slytherin Team have a deep rivalry.  
3. The Slytherins are still sore about what they were sure was a prank last week, when Evan Rosier's cauldron exploded and flooded the dungeons.

So, will we ever know that the Slytherins charmed the Bludger for sure? Probably not, but for now, we're happy enough with our assumptions.

Everyone at the _Den_ wishes James Potter a good recovery.

Shorts:

"**Clean-up Day" A Disaster  
**Students assigned to clean the Great Hall fled from the room, shrieking, because a bunch of monstrous, engorged bats were let out of a cage! Yikes!

**New Member Of The Den Chosen  
**Frank Longbottom won, closely followed by Marlene McKinnon, in the competition for the editorial column. Marlene will come on in our guest column (coming soon), however.

* * *

If you have a problem, just...

**Ask Sirius**

Dear Black,  
I have been asked to speak for the Slytherins as a whole. We state that we, as truthful, honest serpents, did not preform the prank against James Potter and his crappy team, though it was a clever prank that only the greatest minds of Hogwarts like ourselves could have pulled off. Not saying that we did it or anything.  
- Severus Snape

Dear Snape,  
Liars.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Us Ravenclaws would like to confirm that we were not the executers of such an atrocious prank. We will help you Gryffindors in any way possible to catch the culprit. Hufflepuff would also like to say that they, as well, did not carry out this prank, and want to help catch the horrible people that would hurt James Potter and his team.  
- The Eagle and the Badger

Dear The Eagle,  
We don't suspect you guys of the prank. What would really make me feel better, though, is if you could get Carrie O'Connor to go out with me. Just kidding...  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
What are we going to do about tonight?  
- Moony

Dear Moony,  
... crap.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Sorry for repeating Moony's question, but what _are _we going to do about tonight?  
- Wormy

Dear Wormy,  
Once again... crap.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
When Potter wakes up, he isn't going to ask me out again, is he?  
- Lily

Dear Lily,  
Nah, he'll probably be too disoriented. Don't trust me, though.  
- Sirius

Dear Sirius,  
Is Madam Pomfrey allowing... er... visitors in to visit Pott– I mean, James?  
- NOT A Slytherin

Dear NOT,  
YOU CAN'T TRICK ME!  
- Sirius

* * *

**Don't Argue With Frank  
**_by Frank Longbottom_

This week's hot topic is James Potter's nearly fatal experience during a Quidditch practice. The entire school is divided on this; Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw firmly believe that Slytherin is behind the brutal attack, and Slytherin is maintaining their stand that they didn't jinx the Bludger that attacked James.

That's complete crap. Consider the following points, several pointed out in our feature article:

1. The Bludger was teeming with Dark curses and jinxes.  
2. The attack was directed at the Gryffindor team, who the Slytherin team rivals immensely.  
3. The Bludger seemed especially attracted to James.  
4. The team was earlier found in Hooch's office, claiming that they needed to find out when their first game was.

The first point:

Professor Flitwick checked out the Bludger after Matt Stone managed to subdue it by pouncing upon it. It was practically dripping with curses only a person involved in the Dark Arts, such as those the Death Eaters use, would know. Most students in Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff would not know nor use these spells.

The second point:

Gryffindor's rivalry with Slytherin dates back to when Salazar Slytherin left the school, over a thousand years ago. Every year, the rivalry only gets tenser, and in dark times like these, it's even worse. The Slytherins do have a motive to attacking the Gryffindor team; every year, it's a struggle between the two of them, and it's always close in the end, with Gryffindor just coming out on top.

The third point:

The Slytherins have a profound hatred of James Potter. He is what their kind calls a 'blood traitor', and his father, Edward Potter, has sent many of their fathers and mothers to Azkaban. He and his friends also terrorize the Slytherins, Severus Snape in particular (not to say that they don't deserve it). He also is the captain and star of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, and the reason that Slytherin loses the cup every year.

And, finally, the fourth point:

Sources have proven that members of the Slytherin Quidditch Team were earlier discovered by a professor in Madam Hooch's office. They claimed that they needed to find out when their first game was so that they could schedule practices accordingly. This is complete crap, as every team was handed a schedule after they were completely registered. So what exactly was the team doing in there?

The evidence, to me, is overwhelming. It is my firm belief that Slytherin committed this crime. I hope they all are punished for this.

* * *

**Big Mouth Rita Knows It All!**

Rita Skeeter here, with all of the gossip that circulates throughout the school.

Students can't stop talking about the incident with the Bludger. Nothing like this has ever happened at Hogwarts.

Your columnist went to Madam Pomfrey, hoping to get the details on James Potter's condition.

"There is a ninety nine percent chance of recovery," she said matter-of-factly. "We never know what will happen, but it is extremely unlikely that Mr. Potter will die or suffer permanent damage. When he awakens, he'll be suffering a mild concussion, but nothing too severe. The worst that could happens is that he suffers from amnesia."

Hopefully, James Potter will recover fully soon enough to play his first game in three weeks.

* * *

_Sorry guys, but there's no sports this week! We have standings for you, though:_

Puddlemere United: 8-0  
Wimbourne Wasps: 1-7  
Tutshill Tornadoes: 4-4  
Kenmare Kestrals: 4-4  
Chudley Cannons: 4-4  
Denmark Dragons: 3-5  
London Lions: 3-5  
Appleby Arrows: 4-4  
Holyhead Harpies: 5-3  
Yorkshire Yedis: 6-2  
Liverpool Legends: 5-3  
Birmingham Bears: 3-5  
Oxford Owls: 4-4  
Amsterdam Acromantulas: 7-1  
Athens Ashwinders: 3-5  
Dublin Diricawls: 4-4  
Madrid Manticores: 6-2  
Venice Vampires: 5-3  
Manchester Mooncalves: 1-7  
Moscow Mummies: 3-5  
Milan Mokes: 1-7  
Paris Phoenixes: 5-3  
United States Stars: 6-2  
Sydney Serpents: 8-0  
New Zealand Nundus: 4-4

* * *

**The Five W's With Lily Evans**

Who: Students 3rd year and above  
What: Hogsmeade trip  
When: September 29th  
Where: Hogsmeade  
Why: DUH!

Who: Quidditch team  
What: **NO** practice this week  
When: ...  
Where: ...  
Why: Isn't that obvious?

Who: Aspiring Healers  
What: "The Future Starts Here" Class for Healers  
When: September 30th  
Where: Greenhouses 1 and 2

Why: To teach the benefits of Healing  
Who: All Seventh Years  
What: "What's Your Future?" classes  
When: October 8th, and following months (dates to be determined)  
Where: The Great Hall  
Why: To guide Seventh Years to jobs that would be appropriate for them.

* * *

**Yet another issue done!**

**Some reminders:**

**If you are writing a Marauder's Era Harry Potter story, and you would like your characters (they have to be MAIN CHARACTERS, like James, Sirius, etc) to be featured in the plot line of the Gossip Column, just leave the name of your story and the chapter in which the event occurs. If I like it, then it will go in the Gossip Column!**

**For the Quidditch standings, if you live in a big, notable city (that isn't in the USA, Canada, or Mexico) and you don't have a team already posted, just tell me your city and I'll add it on! But, I WILL have a limit, so once I reach a certain amount, I won't post anymore cities.**

**And, as always, give questions for Sirius to answer in Ask Sirius!**

**PotterScar**


End file.
